A dream

5 days ago, my film was screened at the Guzzo Spheretech theatre.

While I’m completely so much more relaxed these last 5 days than possibly the last 5 months combined, I find myself still riding a wave of kindness and confidence that I received from so many people.

April 28th was a dream.  It was a night that I am still processing.

Earlier in the day, I was able to be interviewed, along with I Can Dream Theatre cast member Samuel Lewis, for CTV News Montreal (Sam was a complete pro, completely genuine in his excitement at being on TV and beaming with pride as being the one to represent the group in this fashion) and then solo with CBC Radio Montreal on their Homerun program.

I have learned that I am not a self promoter by nature. It’s something I need to work on.

I was so incredibly nervous all the days leading up to Thursday, April 28th; just thinking of all of the things that needed to be done and the things that could also go wrong.

Then Prince died.  And surprisingly in a weird way, he helped me calm down a little.

In listening to his tunes (because I refused to listen to anything else), it eased my nerves and in a weird way gave me some perspective on how I was viewing this entire experience. Rather than put this pressure on myself, view it for what it is: a golden moment which might not happen again so take it all in, feel confident in the work and what the message was.

When the film was being shown, rather than sit and watch in one of the cinemas (because I physically couldn’t – ants in pants syndrome), I went between them and paced back and forth to see how the film was playing. I was texting my brother in Calgary giving him the play by play.  At one point he asked “Shouldn’t you be in the theatre watching?”.  I told him I was too antsy and I couldn’t sit still.

But perhaps that was a good move, because I was able to speak to people properly afterwards because lo and behold, I was in the lobby all by my lonesome. 🙂

And once it was done, I felt a wave of calm. After all this time.

What I love the most was that the film was finally shared and it started a conversation with many people; prior fans of I Can Dream Theatre now seemed to love the group even more which was amazing.  People who had no idea who they were before the film were clamoring for info as to when their next show would be taking place.

I had friends tell me that seeing cast members in the lobby of the theatre after the film felt like a celebrity sighting to see them in the flesh.

And, best of all, conversations were started about points of view – and how people’s minds had been changed.  I had a person in her mid to late 70s come to me in thanks for giving HER an education with my film. How mind blowing is that!

I was just articulating to a friend of mine that I am reluctant to take on the title of documentary filmmaker (or filmmaker for that matter) that seems to have been thrust on me through our little media coverage. I’ll take on the mantle should I decide to make another film but until then, I feel like I am just someone who wanted to share information with others and communicate about something good going on in the world.

That’s why I wanted to make this film.

I don’t think there is a word that fully describes just how much it means to me that people connected with it. Thankful just doesn’t cut it.  Not even lucky.  Whatever that word is, that’s what I’m feeling.

And now we’re at the stage of planning out just how we can share this film with everyone. This is really exciting to me, because we can take whatever approach we deem fit for it.   It’s exciting to be on the cusp of something bigger than anything I could have ever imagined. Because that’s how I’m feeling now.  That’s the bigger thing to know that I can be a part of transmitting a message of tolerance, of understanding, of change in some small way.

Let’s see what happens next.

Thanks for reading.  And let’s keep on keeping on together.

CBC Homerun

CTV News Montreal